Aloha, PhiloSurfer!

This is the second part of the reflection on Self-Less-Ness.

If you missed the first part or are a new subscriber (welcome!), you can read last week’s newsletter about surf blanks, the inner self & the ego.

A quick reminder of what we saw there:

• Some people think we’re made of a soft core.
• Layered with ego and rational elaborations. 
• We can carve ourselves by softening those layers.

Am I a Rock? An Island?

Some other people think that we are not soft, inside or outside. These people have a strong sense of identity. And most of them firmly believe that people can’t change.

Paul Simon wrote a song about one of them:

“I’ve built walls

A fortress deep and mighty

That none may penetrate

I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pains

It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain”

A very different approach to oneself.

A Self-Full-Ness I would call it.

And we, surfers, know the ocean doesn’t like rigidity.

Let’s analyze a little bit deeper this misconception of:

an individual, independent & obedient Self.

Individed?

First misconception: You are only one.

That’s exactly what the term ‘individual’ means.

Everyone thinks to be one and only one.

If we look into the etymology (origin) of that word we find that:

In-dividual

comes from

In-divided

It seems pretty straightforward.

I am me, you are you, and we’re not the same.

Two differentiated individuals.

But what makes you think you’re always the same “you”?

Buddhism argues that we’re not an undivided soul, but a collection of pieces that our psyche (mind) narrates as one.

Similarly, David Hume wrote that we are but

“a bundle or collection of different perceptions, which succeed each other with an inconceivable rapidity, and are in a perpetual flux and movement.”

No essence. No one-ness. Whatsoever.

Sit Here, Self!

Second misconception: You control your Self.

Arthur Schopenhauer is famous for making pessimism the center of his philosophical endeavor. And, like many pessimists, he had a dry and sarcastic sense of humor.

For instance, he named all his poodles ‘Self.’

He actually named them ‘Atma,’ which is the Sanskrit for Self.

Schopenhauer was very fond of Oriental philosophy.

(He is even a bigger bridge than Hume between both traditions, Eastern & Western.)

I picture him commanding:

Leave it, Self!

Come, Self!

Come!

Self!

Self!!! 

Seeeeeeeeeelf!!!!!

I’ve always found it funny that he named something external to himself ‘Self’.

But, as I have found out in my anthropological studies in indigenous Mexico, that’s only funny in my own culture.

Many indigenous cultures believe that our souls can leave our bodies.

And I stress the ’s’ of souls because most of them also believe that we don’t only have one soul but many.

Different sicknesses are produced by the different souls going away of our hearts, our bellies or our heads.

And they have many rituals for calling them back to their right place.

Microsociology of “Be As You Are”

Third misconception: Your Self is independent.

“Being yourself” is a difficult thing to do.

‘Cos you’re like a surfboard with multiple fin configurations.

So, what “you” should you be:

– Single fin: Simple, minimalist, zen.

– Twin fin: Collaborative, helpful & altruistic.

– Thruster: Passionate & determined.

– 2 + 1: Versatile & stable.

– Quad: Multifaceted & radical.

We change our fin setup every day.

Sometimes every hour.

We put on many different masks throughout the day.

You don’t behave the same in front of your boss, your surfing buddies or your kids.

Actually, we don’t even pick those roles that we play, but our audience does.

Thinking of Erving Goffman, here.

He believed that life is like a wedding, where everyone has a very defined role.

So, your Self is a character that is told what to do by your social interactions – the others around you.

(Google “microsociology“)

So next time you’re told to “Be loyal to yourself”, you may as well reply with a question that reminds me to my mom:

“What playwright are we interpreting today – a Comedy or a Drama?”

Mind-Stretching Exercises

Exercise 1: Accept you’re not an individual, transcend the construct that is the Self and you’ll be one.

Exercise 2: If you want to mold your inner core, let go of your ego. Otherwise, you’ll be carving on the hardest stone in vain.

Exercise 3: Ask your Self, what’s more resilient – a tall boulder or a green cane? Root to your values but adapt to the changing circumstances with flexibility and tranquility of mind.

Exercise 4: Work hard, play hard, but stay soft within.

Repeat 5x for 30 days.

And, please, remember ALWAYS:

“And a rock feels no pain

And an island never cries”

But they’re not alive!

Aloha!