Aloha, PhiloSurfer!
Today’s letter is about a combination of Stoic-Taoist teachings. It’s what I call the 4 2s method. That is 2-2-2-2.
Let’s break it down:
First “2”: Dichotomy of Control
There are 2 circles of control.
A. Things you can influence.
B. Things you can’t.
Either or.
A or B?
Focus on A.
Second “2”: Humble Empowerment
If a B problem is chasing you, you have to understand the difference between:
C. Those external events.
D. How external events affect you.
Again, two different things call for an either or.
Acknowledge that & you’ll look inward.
Do that & you’ll find power.
Third “2”: Amor Fati
If you’re still dealing with a B situation, there are 2 actions you can take to improve D:
E. Don’t fight external events.
F. Accept them.
Don’t resist it.
Do E + F.
Fourth “2”: Wuwei / Ataraxia
Knowing all the previous, there are two things you can do to cope with B issues:
G. Nothing.
H. Relax your mind.
The prescription here is also adding H to G.
An interaction of conscious downsizing effects.
Letting go, at double speed.
The 4 2s Method in a Shoestring:
So it all comes down to these 2 questions:
1.- Can I change the thing that is worrying me?
2.- Can I change myself, so it doesn’t bother me?
Or you can even reduce it to one:
The challenge I’m dealing with,
can I control it (& act upon) or should I focus on how I am experiencing it?
You can’t change the bad waves, but you can learn to (Philo)Surf!
Now.
Here’s something that happened to me recently.
It will help you see my 4 2s method in action.
Last weekend I went surfing, and I encountered a very aggressive surfer, the typical alpha male. He behaved as if he owned the ocean. And he acted like he could control everyone’s behavior, the wind, the tide, and the peaking waves. He shouted at everyone, complained about everything, and even dropped in on other surfers’ waves.
For those who don’t surf, the atmosphere in the line-up is a delicate thing, and this guy was disrupting it with his negative energy. It’s a subtle thing, but it’s noticeable, and it ruined the enjoyment of my favorite activity.
I was pissed.
I mean
really
pissed.
What did I do?
I applied the 4 2s method.
First, I acknowledged that there were things I couldn’t control – this aggressive surfer being one of them. I couldn’t change his behavior or control how he acted toward me or others. And that was becoming a huge impediment for my enjoyment.
Second, I focused on what I could control – my own reactions and emotions. I reminded myself that his behavior was not a reflection of me, and I didn’t have to let it ruin my day. I chose to take a step back, breathe deeply, and let his actions roll off my back. What was standing in the way to a pleasant experience became the way.
Third, I accepted the situation and found a way to make the best of it. I didn’t try to fight the surfer or change his behavior. This for sure would have made things way worse than they were. Instead, I shifted my focus to the waves and the beauty around me. I let go of my frustration and anger and chose to enjoy the moment as it was.
Fourth, I found peace and calm in the moment by doing nothing and relaxing my mind under the sun. I focused on the sensation of the water, the rhythm of the waves, and the feel of the wind on my face. I let go of my thoughts and simply allowed myself to be in the present moment. And that felt amazingly empowering!
In the end, I realized that I couldn’t control everything that happened around me, but I could control how I reacted to it. I chose to look inwards, stay centered, calm and focused on the joy of surfing.
Now, I know turn I have the Force to turn around a very annoying situation into a pleasant on online by means of my internal thoughts and beliefs.
May it be with you!
